I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
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