you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
