Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
