You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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