How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
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