All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
