i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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