dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
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he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
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Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
My vagina is very pro this idea
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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