yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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