plz talk dirty to me
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
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