Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
