New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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