i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
