careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
