i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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