Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
