i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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