you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize