so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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