whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I wish i was in the wii world.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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