it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize