Rock
Scissors
Fuck
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
