Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
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Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
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So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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