Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
