So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
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