In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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