I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
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