She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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