Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
