Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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