to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
