One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
My life is pants optional.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
