Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize