burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
