last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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