If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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