She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
