Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
