Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
