lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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