You made me cry and you don't even care
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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