How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
