so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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