On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
