I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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