he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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