I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
