Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I think weed is turning my hair brown
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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