im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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