I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
