i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
