i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
