I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
