I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
