You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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