So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
