Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
