You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
